MAY 18, 2024 STUDENT ASSIGNMENT FRUITAGE

Genia Allard

Account Number One – applying this year’s reading to prayer:

Despite the constant interference of mortal mind, I share two incidents, both of which had direct healing correlation to this year’s Association assignment.  The first happened, coincidentally, on the first day of May this year.  I was working at home mid-morning, preparing for an afternoon rehearsing with students for our spring play, when emergency text and email alerts came from our public school that an active shooter was in the midst of attacking a neighboring school.  All area schools were under heightened security and some were in lockdown until further notice.   As a parent with two school-age children, my sense of peace was badly disrupted.  My sister (who lives on the east coast) had already heard of the crisis and immediately tried to get ahold of me to make sure we were all okay.  A dear longtime friend of mine has two daughters in the particular school that was under attack that morning.  Suddenly, a flood of deathly thoughts overwhelmed me: were these kids okay?  Who was this shooter?  How did they get ahold of a gun?  Why did they have access to a firearm? Why would anyone keep a firearm in their home?  I thought this couldn’t happen to our community, or any community like ours that is quiet, safe, and relatively small!  The onslaught of thoughts ranged from hating the shooter to hating the parents of the shooter, to fear for my children, to a dreaded sense of feeling that there was no safe harbor anywhere, even for the children of God.

When I calmed myself enough to be able to pray, I simply started by singing the words of “Feed My Sheep,” quietly to myself.  I was particularly struck by the familiar line, “We would enter by the door, and Thou know’st Thine own.”  Something about the idea of the door stayed with me all that morning as I continued to work.  I recalled a brief account in “Christian Healer” that I’d been studying all winter and into the spring.  On page 301, the author writes of two reminiscences by James Brierly and Julia Michael Johnston, of a shooter entering a room where Mrs. Eddy was seated.  The intent of the shooter was to assassinate Mrs. Eddy.

“[Mrs. Eddy] also told of being in her room and having the impression that someone was coming to shoot her, and her first thought was to close and lock the door, but she left it open, and a man entered her room and pointed a revolver at her, and she said to him, “You cannot shoot,” and his arm became as if paralyzed; his revolver dropped to the floor, and he said using an oath, “I came to kill you.”  At that he left the room.

Another recalling, presumably of the same incident, goes like this:

“My mother [Anne Rogers Michael] told me that once as Mrs. Eddy sat at her desk she felt a sense of something wrong and turned and looked behind her.  A man had entered the room and closed the door behind him.  In his hand was a weapon pointed at Mrs. Eddy.  She said, “You cannot do this wicked thing.”  The man’s arm fell helpless at his side and the weapon on the floor.  He said, “Well, I came to do it, but I can’t,” and he left the room.

To leave the door open, Mrs. Eddy must have had to be completely at peace, while standing porter.  She did not shut the door on God’s man; she bade him enter by the door and saw him as he was – not an attacker, but a peaceful child of God, galvanized not by hatred and bitterness, but by earnestness to do good.  He was unable to carry out the vicious attack intended.  How could I, too, allow the door to remain open, when my every instinct was to slam it shut and lock it?  I prayed for the shooter and his family.  It turns out that the shooter was likely a student seeking retaliation for bullying.  He died on the scene and no other person was injured during the incident.   As the fear for my own children dissipated, I was filled with motherly empathy and sorrow for this young boy, who decided his only option was to pick up a pellet rifle and shoot classmates.  I wanted to hug him and reassure him he was loved.  Never had I felt such a deep sense of needing to love this person, despite the fear surrounding the incident.  It seems like hearing of similar violence in the news is such a common occurrence that I had found myself saddened but detached in other circumstances.    

The very great lesson I learned from Mrs. Eddy’s actions in that account is to allow God’s man to enter by the door.  What I’m keeping out is any suggestion that God’s man is less than perfect, that he is capable of hatred, violence, subject to animal behaviors of any sort.  On those lies, I am well within my right to slam the door.  Against those lies, I stand porter at the door of thought.

When I arrived at school that same afternoon, the sense of peace pervaded my thoughts, though by that time, I knew the shooter had been killed by police officers on the scene.  Students were noticeably upset and some were crying.  They knew that the incident had been instigated by a desire for justice as the result of longtime bullying.  My school district is no stranger to bullying.  We cannot live with a sense of fear or doom, and much of my recent work with students has been in the spirit of allowing God’s child to enter by the door.  I was gratefully able to offer comfort and reassurance to frightened kids, and to reinforce to them that they can always seek help and comfort from me.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop praying for that child whose earthly life ended on May 1st.  I’m knowing the everlasting arms of love have never stopped embracing him.  Mrs. Eddy must certainly have known the same of her would-be assassin.  By knowing and understanding this myself, I was healed of fear and hatred, almost at once.

“…No persons can grow into Christian Science until they have grown out of attaching themselves to personality either through fear, love, or hate.”  - Mary Baker Eddy, in a letter to Lida Stone, 1896.

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After sharing a profound testimony in which I was nearly immediately healed of hatred and resentment, I learned that some important details of the testimony (which involved an active school shooter, age 14) were misunderstood and thereby miscommunicated to my fellow students.  I would like to apologize for my part in the spread of misinformation.  This is a grave concern in a current social setting that promotes rampant internet misuse and 2 second sound-bite “news” bits from disreputable sources and treated as absolute hard facts.  Disreputable reports treated as “factual news” result in egregious, ignorant, and downright insulting assumptions.  It makes me ashamed to be a part of a false narrative.   I want to make completely clear the fact that the remarkable part of this narrative was the HEALING itself – hatred transformed into Love, nearly instantaneously.   It’s important to remember that mortal mind, while sometimes beautiful, is always erroneous.

I had occasion to spend a recent lunch with the friend I mentioned in the testimony; her two daughters were in the school at the time of the incident.  This friend gently but firmly corrected me on a number of details:

1. The student was not bullied.  This was not a case of bullying taken too far.

2. The student came from a good family; the maternal grandfather was a part of the Fire Department/First Responder Team that confronted the student.

3. The student deliberately removed an identifying piece of equipment from the pellet gun he was carrying, making it impossible for police force to identify the weapon as a pellet gun.  Removing the piece made the pellet gun mimic a rifle.  The student knew this.

4. The student was home on suspension the day of the incident, for threatening the school previously.

5. The student harbored an unhealthy obsession to the Columbine shooting, as outlined in a blog later discovered.  The student had gone so far as to visit the Columbine campus and reported touching the wall of the school building to feel the energy of the shooting; he wrote extensively on this in the aforementioned blog.

6. The student walked from his home to the school carrying a visible gun in a backpack.  He was seen by multiple witnesses but nobody called in the suspicious behavior until he was spotted by a neighbor outside the school building itself.

7. The student walked up to the locked front door of the school building, despite the common knowledge that the door to the outside cafeteria is the only door that was unlocked (this is known to all students; the student would certainly have known this as well).  My friend’s oldest daughter was outside eating lunch when the student was seen approaching the front of the school.

8. Finally, and most tragically, the mother of the student had been diagnosed with a terminal illness prior to the incident.

Because the testimony has been added to our Association website, it is imperative that false information be noted as such and corrected wherever possible.  At the time I shared this healing, I simply didn’t have all of the facts and reported thusly.  My heart still goes out to this boy, and now expands to include his mother and family.  I see more than ever how imperative that our pathways be led by Love.  It is the Royal Way.

Respectfully submitted, Genia Allard, June 2024

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Account number two:

I was particularly taken with an account in our reading, of an incident that occurred in 1907.  It was related to Irving Tomlinson by Adela Rogers, and is reported on page 397 of “Mary Baker Eddy, Christian Healer.”  Ms. Rogers relates,

“The story was told to me originally by Louis Weadlock, who in 1906 was the star reporter of the New York Herald. 

In that capacity, he was sent to Concord, with many other newspapermen, to “cover” the story about Mary Baker Eddy which was then occupying some space in the newspapers, and which is mentioned at length in the last part of Chapter XXI of Miss Wilbur’s The Life of Mary Baker Eddy.

He told me that they were sent to Pleasant View at that time to dig up the truth about Mrs. Eddy.  Their orders from the city desk were positive.  They were to use what methods were necessary, but they were to find out the facts.  If Mrs. Eddy was dead and someone was impersonating her, if she was mentally incompetent and physically ill in health, they were to bring back the story, sparing no one.

He also told me that naturally, being reporters, they hoped this would be the case – that something of a sensational nature would be uncovered.  If Mrs. Eddy was merely living in saintly retirement, working and praying for mankind, it was not news.  But if any of the other rumors about here were true, it would be a great story.  All upon the old reportorial adage that if a dog bites a man it isn’t news, but if a man bites a dog, it is.

He said that they were a hard-boiled, belligerent bunch of old-timers who went down there.  That they hoped and expected to “dig up” a lot of scandal.  That they were news hounds on the trail.

I wish to relate an experience of my own.  With the help of my brother whom I was prayerfully supporting at the time, here is an account of a specific incident that mirrors Mrs. Eddy’s.  It has helped me greatly to understand her position and the work that she was doing at the time; she was no doubt alert, but the work of her staff and students cannot be underestimated.  This incident concerns our family farm.  My brother is the fourth generation to farm this land, and the farm is close to becoming a century farm.  We were both witnesses to this unfoldment.  He writes (and I verify, as a witness),

This demonstration came at a time when the future of our farm was not at all certain.

In 2018 we diversified our multigenerational family farm to include agricultural tourism. At great personal and financial risk, we converted our family farmhouse to a short-term vacation rental. The idea was, that we could welcome visitors to the farm for short stays and farm tours. Located just two hours from Chicago, 45 minutes from Madison, and two hours from Milwaukee, the farm is conveniently located to welcome urban guests. We wanted to provide visitors with an authentic and positive experience and send them home with a clearer understanding of traditional Wisconsin agriculture. This would generate much-needed revenue for the farm, while also giving us the chance to represent dairy farming in a positive light.

Almost immediately the farmstay was booked with a variety of guests. Included with each farmstay was a farm tour, where visitors could learn about the history of the farm, meet the animals, hand-milk a cow, bottle-feed baby calves, feed pigs, and interact with the horses. This worked well, and began to generate positive feedback from our visitors, as well as provide a crucial revenue stream for the farm. These farm tours were made available to transient visitors and tour groups, as well as guests of the farmhouse.

One particular group that we hosted came from Madison, but they did not stay in the farmhouse, instead booking a farm tour as a visiting day group. When this particular group arrived at the farm, they brought with them an air of uncertainty. As the group gathered in front of the barn for the traditional welcome greeting, there was a tangible sense of trepidation. There was no outwardly reason to feel apprehensive about this group, yet we sensed a very real need to protect ourselves, and the farm.

The tour commenced as normal. They laughed at the light-hearted humor woven into the dialogue. They appreciated the history of the farm, as well as the philosophies of conservation, sustainability, and regeneration that define our family-oriented model of agriculture. They were receptive, and grateful to hear about the intimacy and individuality of the farm.

For the hands-on cow milking demonstration portion of the tour, we spent the usual amount of time talking about the human-bovine relationship. We explained how, and why, we care for cows the way that we do. We talked about the unique personalities of the cows. We celebrated the individuality of the cows, and how they are all named. The guests were allowed to hand-milk a cow, which is a feature of our tour that remains universally well-received.

Next, the tour discussed how, and why, we raise baby calves the way that we do. The mothers of the group empathized with the philosophies behind cow milking and calf rearing. As always, the tour provided the opportunity to discuss animal husbandry in the context of individualized care and attention to the needs of our livestock. The conversation continued with a discussion about the resident farm pigs, and the uniqueness of the human-horse relationship. The group was presented with clear examples of the spirituality of horses, and the healing effect an equine connection can provide.

By the end of the tour, the feeling of trepidation had dissolved. This group interacted with the lessons and anecdotes in a positive and authentic manner, more and more as the tour went on. By the end, we felt as though we had created a genuine connection with the guests and the philosophies of the farm. Any apprehension with this group was long gone.

As we said our goodbyes, settled payment, and thanked one another for the experience, the group presented us with this perspective:

They admitted that they had initially booked the tour with the idea of showcasing negative attributes of animal agriculture. Their intention was to capture photographs and testimony of animal abuse, and use these examples to “prove” that dairy farming is an abusive and predatory practice that should not be supported. This was on behalf of an animal rights group based in Madison.

However, as they explained, their experience on the farm provided the unexpected perspective that dairy farming is not all bad. In fact, it is the responsibility of the consumer to source food and resources in a manner that reflects the constitution of the individual, and not just “shop according to labels.” In conclusion, the experience of the farm tour changed their perspective on dairy farming and actually created a sense of unity between us.

Our interaction commenced beneath an unspoken cloak of confrontation, but concluded with a mutual sense of respected equality.

I’ve shared other testimonies and experiences related to our family farm.  Since the deaths of our parents, I’ve worked to support the progress of the farm in my daily prayer, but this incident spoke volumes to me.  It was an unexpected intended attack that ended in peace and harmony and mutual respect.  A healing had certainly occurred.

When Irving Tomlinson met with the hard-hearted journalists who intended to slander Mrs. Eddy, these were the words shared by the journalist appointed to the meeting,

“…If ever anyone had a right to hate anyone else, surely those Christian Scientists had a right to hate us.  We were there to vilify their Leader if we could.  We had no reverence and no decency, as I knew.  We didn’t believe anything but the worst about anybody.  And we wanted if possible to hold Mrs. Eddy up to scorn and ridicule, to expose and denounce her if we could.”

Following the physical healing of one of the reporters, the mindset of the journalists is summed up thusly,

If Christian Scientists were loving enough to want to heal those reporters who had come for the purpose they had, they were certainly loving their enemies and were showing a Christ-spirit far beyond anything they had ever encountered.

These two accounts, over a hundred years apart and yet so similar, remind me that man is not on a collision course with man.  We cannot harm one another.  I’m reminded of this constantly as I go about my daily work of seeing man as God’s man.  I’m also reminded, more than ever, that spiritual unfoldment is the work of a lifetime.  The call to be alert is constant, but the healing that results is so astounding in the most wonderful of ways.  The author writes, on page 265 of “Mary Baker Eddy, Christian Healer”

“No matter what the world threw at her feet – disease, storms, insanity, death, or a legal attack that threatened everything she had worked to establish – Mary Baker Eddy treated them all as occasions for healing.  To her, they were opportunities to show the world that God is an ever-present Father-Mother, an unfailing Physician, and a perfect Judge.”

Ellen Biemer

At last year’s Association meeting, we talked about the importance of church.  I’d started to attend an area church I’d visited in the past occasionally, and liked it a lot — the small group is very nice.  Our Association gave me new inspiration, and I started praying more about church; specifically, to figure out the reason for my resistance to joining this branch church.

I still have some bad feelings about the church I’d attended when I came back to Christian Science, and despite knowing that the new church would gladly accept me, I had some fear of rejection.  But, I knew there was more to it than that. I also felt like I might should be over the bad feelings about my old church before joining a church; but, that seemed kind of excessive.

I finally realized the main reason I was reluctant to join was that I was afraid of getting close to the lovely women who are the active members. I still have some issues from losing Mom in 2017, and many other family members and friends since then; getting closer to these women, who are in their 80s and 90s, seemed like inviting more pain when they inevitably passed on.

Once I recognized that fear was what was stopping me, I prayed about it.  I recognized that the present is what’s important.  No human is around forever; we need to cherish the time we have with those who are with us. And, I felt strongly that it is important to share Christian Science with others in that community, and in the larger metropolitan area, who (like me) don’t click with the other churches in the area.

Despite seeming like I’d be joining the church in order to help close it, I knew it was the right thing to do; honestly, it seemed like the others wouldn't really be able to do what needed to be done to close it.

That said, I also knew how essential it is to keep my thought open to what God has planned.  The church has managed to keep going for a long time with just a few active members; and, when someone has passed on or left, and closure seemed imminent, someone else has appeared to help keep it going.

So, I stepped up, and joined the First Church of Christ, Scientist, New Albany, Indiana.

I immediately became the Second Reader, which was fun. The previous Second Reader had been doing it for well over a decade, and was ready to step down.  I also started doing some maintenance things around the church, which had been neglected for quite a while; and helped out in other ways, as I could.

After a while, it seemed right that I act as First Reader on Sundays. I love doing it!  As Second Reader, I could kind of skate by without putting in a lot of effort; First Reader is a lot more demanding. I now spend more time on the Lesson, really focusing on the meaning of the Science and Health passages in particular.  I mark them to bring out as much meaning as I can when I read.  Also, choosing the hymns and Scriptural Selection make me really think deeply about the whole Lesson.

It’s still a struggle for me to get myself to do the spiritual work I feel I should, but this commitment makes a big difference.

And, it’s paying off for the church, too!  A new family started attending some months ago, a couple and their sister, and their adult son, with his toddler. They’d lived in the area before, though none of us knew them; and, after visiting the three churches in the area, two of which they’d attended years ago, they decided to join ours.  By Association time, the couple and the son will all be members.  And, they are some of the most loving people I’ve ever met.  We are all on the same page that you don’t have to be perfect in able to join church; you just need the dedication to Christian Science, and the desire to come together to share it with the community.

The men have been working hard to clean up our basement Sunday School area, so the boy can stay in the nursery during services; we’d had some bad water leakage a while back, and while the leaks were sealed, the basement was left in a big mess.  They’re taking care of other things that need fixing, as well.  It’s a huge blessing!

We just had our first Board meeting, which was my first one, ever.  We are planning to become a Society, and sell the church, as our income is far from meeting our expenses; but, we are all feeling very positive about things now.

It’s wonderful to know that Christian Science will continue to have a presence in that community.  That’s what is really important.  It will look different, but it will continue on — and there will continue to be a place for those of us who don’t fit in with the “traditional” church in the area.  God is unfolding a plan for our group, one we could never have come up with ourselves.  I am excited to be a part of this unfolding.

I’d love to say I’ve made progress on my own health issues as a result of joining the church; unfortunately as I write this, things seem to be flaring up more.  At times I’ve been inundated with “imposter syndrome” feelings — like, I shouldn’t be doing this; I’m not a good enough Christian Scientist; maybe I should focus on healing my own problems, rather than spending my time and energy adding more demands on my time and energy.

So, I just have to keep refuting those arguments. I know that focusing more on the Lesson each week is a big help to me; and the commitment to read gives me motivation to do that, which I haven’t seemed to find otherwise.  I know there are many ways I’m a huge blessing to that church and to the people involved.  I know that for me, it’s an essential part of my progress to participate in church.  And, it is wonderful to be able to share my talents with my church, especially with Reading.  I love to do it!  And, I know my commitment and prayers are blessing everyone involved.

Janet Chisholm

PART ONE

While reading Mary Baker Eddy: Christian Healer, I was struck by Mrs. Eddy’s initial reference to her discovery as a Moral Science and that she titled her teaching manual as “The Science of Man, by which the sick are healed. Embracing Questions and Answers in Moral Science.” 

In this book, we read on p. 210:

“For Mary, the ability to heal came from far more than an intellectual understanding of metaphysical concepts. It was a matter of whether spiritual sense or material sense governed the practitioner. Without the spiritual aspect, the healing practice turned into a mesmeric exercise of one human mind controlling another. This is why she kept stressing to her students the need for greater goodness and purity in their thoughts and lives. As she stated in a revision of The Science of Man, “A student of Moral Science, and this is the Science of man, must be a pure and undefiled Christian, in order to make the most rapid progress in healing. . . .”

After reading this, I could see more clearly that in Mrs. Eddy’s Moral Science, the moral status of the healer brings reformation to the patient. This struck a deep chord within me. Her emphasis on the requirement for purity of thought — the natural state of man — as a starting place for the healer, alerted me to the necessity of my claiming and living this more fully. An even stronger statement which drew my attention is from Miscellaneous Writings:

”The Founder of Christian Science teaches her students that they must possess the spirit of truth and love, must gain the power over sin in themselves, or they cannot be instantaneous healers.” MW 40:21

As I contemplated these ideas, I became more aware of my thought, especially at night. I began to take a few moments after getting in bed to review my thinking for that day. I mentally swept up, as a whole, all the false images and suggestions I had taken in. I then expressed deep gratitude that none of it was real. During this practice, one insight I had was that if healing is not recovery, but is the discovery of what is already true, already real, then it is always going on. It has no beginning, middle, or end. It’s the natural awareness of reality. So the picture of a person being healed is a mirage, which upon close inspection, disappears. There is no beginning, middle, or end of any error or lack of goodness, of health, of abundance. You can’t correct something that isn’t there. How do you correct a mirage? It has no substance, nothing to get your hands on. To turn your attention to it and inspect it closely results in its immediate dissolution. It vanishes. There is nothing to handle or to remove. It’s an illusion, without presence, substance, law, or power. Examining nothingness, which seems to appear briefly as something, brings instantaneous results. It’s a dream which wakefulness simply eliminates.

This excerpt from Mary Baker Eddy: Christian Healer, p. 193, spoke directly to me. 

“The healing of my students changes its stages as they learn from experience. It starts a marvel of power and then becomes a marvel of grace. The latter is gained by the spiritualization of practice which acts on the moral more than the physical degree of healing, but is sure to produce the latter which never relapses. More of the spirit than letter is required to reach this Christ-stage of healing sickness and sin. This, dear one, is what I want you to attain.”

This set the tone for what I wanted to seek out for myself this past year. 

PART TWO 

My journey began at the very end of Association last year, when I immediately turned to Margie and said to her, “I think I am going to break down some walls this year.“ And she answered that she thought she would too.I’ve had some success in breaking down walls. Even though I had not attended a public concert in many years, one of my closest former students was going to perform with the UW Symphony Orchestra the entire Sibelius violin concerto as a winner of their concerto competition. I have had many mobility issues and wanted to go, but couldn’t see a way to do it. About a week before the recital, my sister texted me out of the blue and asked, “Do you want to go to Ben’s recital? If you do, I have set everything up. My husband will pick you up from your home and drop you at the front door of the hall. Waiting at the door will be Erik (another former student). He will usher you to your seat. At the end, we will give you a ride home. I quickly accepted her offer. It was a wonderful experience, not just because I was able to attend the concert, but because of the love expressed in the way it happened.At another time this fall, I was feeling a deep desire to be in nature but had been unable to do so for many years. One of the mothers of my former students, whose children were now in college, came to my thought.  I had resisted asking anyone to help me with this, but I decided that I would ask if she were willing to take me to a lake. She was happy to help, and when we talked about what day to go, she suddenly realized that she could go during the week rather than a weekend, because her children were no longer at home. We were able to go on two occasions. She hiked while I sat at a picnic table and wrote. We have deepened our friendship because of this. And I thought, “Yes, Margie, I broke down another wall.”Several times, I went with family and friends to a restaurant for a meal, something I had not done since Covid. Another wall of fear down, and with no reactions.I have a very close friend, a man I met when we were both young people in music school many years ago, and who is someone I have considered as an anchor in my life. We kept in touch over many decades. He had struggled with some health issues for the last few years, but seemed to be holding his own. I have always sent him e-cards at every holiday and for his birthday. He would respond with a quick note. It suddenly came to me that I had not gotten responses from my cards to him since Thanksgiving. I remembered that the last time he called me he had been in the hospital with a heart problem, but they had diagnosed it and thought it was an easy fix. I worried that his lack of contact with me meant something was wrong. I decided not to try to call him, but just reversed my concern when I thought of him. I have had my closest friends, friends that have been an intimate part of my life since I was young, all pass within the last few years. In every instance, I struggled with grief, but not to great extent. I have been able to find my peace each time. In January, I received a text from my friend’s daughter, who informed me that he was in a deep medical coma and not expected to live much longer. I responded to her with love, and told her that if she needed anything from me, I was standing by. After I hung up the phone, I had an instantaneous healing of grief. I had heard of this happening from someone many years ago, who said when her mother passed away, she felt about two seconds of grief, and then it absolutely disappeared. I experienced that same response. I have had no sadness, no tears, no regret, nothing but a sense of not being separated, but that we are still together.This exemplifies a new way of experiencing healing that has occurred on more than one occasion during this past year. The first time I noticed it, I had arranged for my furnace to be serviced late last fall. When the technician was getting ready to leave, he asked me if I had heard a humming sound from my furnace. I said yes I had noticed it for a little while, and wondered about it. He told me that it meant that the motor that forces air through the furnace was going out. I asked him if he could replace it and informed him that I had a home warranty policy that would cover it. But he told me that they wouldn’t cover it until it went out. I asked him if the furnace would immediately stop working when the motor failed. He told me that it would. So I said to him, “So you mean that I can’t get it repaired under the warranty until the furnace fails?” He told me that was correct. He then left my house, and I thought, “Why do I have to go through the entire winter wondering whether or not I will suddenly have no heat?” I felt overwhelmed and started to cry, but then I thought that this just seemed wrong. I went into my office and sat in my chair to do some work. Almost immediately, I felt completely convinced that God would never put anyone in danger, that I could not be in danger, and that I could not suffer from fear of danger. I had a vision of an abyss in front of me that I knew I did not have to step into. Immediately it was as though I crossed over it, and all fear left me. 

The technician had left my house around noon. At 12:30, I received an odd email from my home warranty company saying the repair was approved, even though I had not submitted a claim. Five minutes later, I received a phone call from the heating company where the technician worked. A woman said “The technician is still in the area if you want him to come back and repair the furnace today, but if not, he could come tomorrow.” I said, “You mean the repair is approved?” She said it was. Within 10 minutes the technician returned, and five minutes later, my furnace was repaired. I asked him what I owed him, because the home warranty requires a flat fee of about $80 for each visit. He said, “Oh no, you don’t owe us anything. The warranty company said that since the problem became obvious during our servicing call, they would not charge you anything since you already had to pay us for routine maintenance.” So in a matter of 45 minutes.  The entire problem disappeared without effort or a single moment of discord.I felt this same mode of thought led to the healing of the passing of my friend. It was as though there was a portal I could walk through or not. If I chose to ignore the abyss, all suffering simply disappeared. The thought of Jesus walking on, not through the waves, seemed relevant. When I looked up the citation in the textbook, there was that word “moral” again.

“You must utilize the moral might of Mind in order to walk over the waves of error and support your claims by demonstration.” SH 455:8-10

PART THREE 

During the past year, I’ve also had a number of challenges with physical pain. Many times I have been able to reverse the suggestions successfully. Recently, I have struggled with more severe symptoms. As usually happens, I have moments of discouragement or moments in which I say something like, “Why can’t you leave me alone?“ Or, “Why can’t someone help me?!“During this last challenge, when I spoke to a practitioner, I told her that I had a visual sense of what I was feeling. I said that during a sudden, severe storm on Mount Everest in May 1996, many people were lost. The famous climber, Rob Hall, had been trapped in the blizzard. His colleagues were able to speak to him from one of the lower camps, and even patched through his wife from overseas to talk to him. They kept encouraging him, and saying that he needed to get up and start walking. He couldn’t just sit there. He had to get up and move in order to save himself.  He reassured them many times saying, “Yes, I am getting up now. I will do it.“ But he never did.  I recognized this as a ridiculous suggestion about my current situation. Yet the plight of the climber had been coming to me for several weeks. After working with the practitioner for a couple of days, my symptoms faded somewhat. However, I still felt frustrated at these chronic issues. 

The second night, I went to bed feeling that I had broken through some of the sense of restriction that day. I thought I would be able to sleep peacefully. I began to work mentally, but soon after I started, I remembered an occasion in which my teacher was working for me. He said to me, “You can take everything you think is your body and throw it into the corner of the room. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.” As I pondered this, an incredible, revelatory light consumed my consciousness. Although I have had for many years an understanding of the relationship between mortal mind and body, and how animal magnetism tries to get our attention through problems with the body, a new view began to emerge.  I suddenly found myself personally addressing my body. Only now in my thought it was “the body”, not my body. I began speaking to it and telling it many things. Rather than summarize the things I said., I will just tell you what I was saying.“I’m so sorry, but I have to tell you that you’ve gotten a really raw deal. I know that you thought you had strength, but you didn’t. You thought you had power, but you didn’t. When you were young, you thought you had beauty, but you didn’t. You thought you had movement, but you never did. There was nothing you could’ve done that would have brought about a different outcome. I’m sorry that you thought you had a future, but you never did. You never had a past or a present, because you’ve never had substance, or law, or intelligence. You’ve done nothing wrong. You are completely innocent. You are the victim of a cruel hoax. Please forgive me for the times that I have resented you, that I have been angry at you. I know that there is no malice in you, no desire to harm me. You just have never understood, or been given the knowledge of what you are. Now I am telling you that though you thought you were alive, you never were.”At this point, I took my hands and placed them on my face with love and compassion and reiterated the things that I had said. I touched the body and told it, “You are innocent.“ At the same time, I was able to see my own total and irrevocable innocence and claim it. I have done nothing wrong. There was nothing I could’ve done differently, because my spiritual nature was established and could not be changed. All the regrets I might have felt during my life, the feeling as I’ve grown older, that I should have done more, should have done things differently — if only I had done this, or that, I would be healthier, or more successful, or any of the other suggestions that come. I know that I have succeeded at certain things, that I have helped some people, that I have an understanding of reality that I have fought for. So I turned my attention to mortal mind and began to speak to it.

“I’m so sorry that you thought you were something, that you have suffered, been discouraged, felt guilt, felt like a failure. How many days have you said that this was the day you would study more or clean the house, and at the end of the day you saw only a void.” This was so reminiscent of my vision of the climber who could not seem to help himself, though it meant he would not survive. I kept speaking to mortal mind, saying, “You”ve been given a raw deal. It’s all been a set up. You are innocent.“I could see that in past arguments during treatment, I have turned on error with anger, addressing it forcefully and telling it to go away, telling it that it is nothing. This now seemed foolish. Error has also been tricked in the same way, presenting itself as powerful when it is not, thinking it can have an intention when it cannot. There is no there there.I continued to address mortal mind and body until finally these words of comfort came to me for them. “You can rest now. It’s time for you to rest. You don’t have to struggle anymore. You can lay down your sword. If you choose to let everything fade from your sight, you have my permission. I don’t want to fight you anymore. I wish peace for you. Let us have peace with each other.”I was given a completely new and radical point of view in this epiphany. It is an opportunity to see myself completely separate from matter, and I am sure there will be many moments of recalibration and consequences from this view. I am eager to see what unfolds. I feel confident my way of healing is changed.As I looked back on my notes for my Association assignment, I found that I had added this citation from Science & Health a couple of weeks before this experience. It seems my new view was a step in this direction.

“Entirely separate from the belief and dream of material living, is the Life divine, revealing spiritual understanding, and the consciousness of man’s dominion over the whole earth. This understanding casts out error and heals the sick, and with it, you can speak as one having authority.” 14:25-28

PART FOUR

Recently, I listened to a talk by Majorie Dagnall, CS titled “You Are Not A Commentary.” This talk built on my epiphany about addressing the mortal body and mortal mind that I had been putting into practice. In this talk she discusses mortal mind’s constant imaginary commentary about what we are and what we are doing, in contrast to the actual reality of ourselves as the divine idea constantly present and active. She expounds on how we can realize in our daily lives the separation between the two. She described how she acted contrary to the commentary, even though she was essentially in agreement with it. She found she automatically acted according to divine guidance without consciously deciding to.

At that time, I was still experiencing some alarming physical symptoms, although I had clearly made great progress mentally and spiritually. Many, but not all, of the symptoms had faded.  A few days after listening to the Dagnall talk, I once again had an influx of light. After lying down to go to sleep, the words keep repeating in my thought, “No room in the inn. No room in the inn. No room in the inn.” This was accompanied by a vision of Mary, Joseph, and the Christ child in the stable, for whom there was no room in the inn. I asked myself what message was presenting itself to me. Immediately I realized that of course there was no room in the inn. There is never room in the inn. I saw that the inn represents the hustle and bustle of material existence. There is no room for the Christ there. Nor is the Christ wanted there. I remembered the article “An Allegory” from MW p. 328, where Mrs. Eddy writes of a Stranger, representing the Christ, descending from a mountain to a valley, in order to lead those receptive to him up to the mountaintop. She writes:

“He alone ascends the hill of Christian Science who follows the Way-shower, the spiritual presence and idea. Whatever obstructs the way, — causing to stumble, fall, or faint, those mortals striving to enter the path, — divine Love will remove; and uplift the fallen and strengthen the weak. Therefore, give up the earth-weight; and observe the apostle’s admonition, “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching for those things which are before…” Then, loving God supremely, and thy neighbor as thyself, thou wilt safely bear thy cross up to the throne of everlasting glory.”

And from S&H p. 20 — 

“St. Paul wrote, ‘Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us;’ that is, let us put aside, material self and sense, and seek the divine Principle and Science of all healing.”

As I reflected on this, I could clearly see that the starting point out of the Valley, which Mrs. Eddy identifies as humility, is the willingness to embrace the destruction of the human ego. To lay aside “every weight”, the baggage I can’t really carry up the mountainside, means the strict separation between the real and the unreal, the human and the divine, a mortal mind and body and God’s expression revealed as my identity. As this permeated my thought, the possibility of a vacuum anywhere in reality became absurd. There is only the fullness of spiritual reality radiating everywhere. There is only and always everything everywhere, and that everything is God and idea. Eventually, the alarming symptoms faded. 

To sum up, the last few months have been a series of unfolding realizations of how my life is entirely separate from matter, from the dream of material existence — that I can know this and, with great humility and patience, demonstrate it. In relation to this, I have begun to think of Mrs. Eddy’s discussion in the textbook about the straight line and the curve. 

“A straight line finds no abiding-place in a curve, and a curve finds no adjustment to a straight line. Similarly, matter has no place in Spirit, and Spirit has no place in matter. Truth has no home in error, and error has no foothold in Truth. Mind cannot pass into non-intelligence and matter, nor can non-intelligence become Soul. At no point can these opposites mingle or unite. Even though they seem to touch, one is still a curve and the other a straight line.” SH 282:14

I recall a few days after class instruction, that I took a walk at night by myself around my neighborhood. I remember stopping next to a beautiful jasmine hedge. Suddenly, what had been presented in class to me about my relationship to heaven — that the kingdom of heaven is within me — became palpable. I marveled at what that actually meant. As I stood there in the night, embraced by the fragrance of the beautiful flowers, I knew that I was literally right at that moment in heaven. So, no, there is no room in the inn, in my consciousness, for a material sense of me. I am already up the mountain and home. 

PART FIVE: Some Rediscovered Healings

1. The Mockingbird

When my daughter was a senior in high school in the late 70’s, she was very independent, had a number of close friends, and her own car. At the time, we lived in Los Angeles. One Friday night, she was away from home, spending the weekend with one of her girlfriends. At 2:30 am, we received a phone call from the Los Angeles Police Department. My daughter and a few other teenagers had been detained and taken to a police station. The officer assured us that she was not in trouble, but that she did need to be picked up. We immediately drove to the station. On the way home, she explained that a boy she didn’t know very well had driven by the place she was staying and had offered to take her and a couple of other friends for a ride in his new car. She had an odd feeling about the situation, but she knew that this boy was troubled and felt that if she got in the car, she could talk to him and perhaps help him. Before long the car was pulled over by the police, and she and the other teens were put face down on the ground with guns pointed at their heads. The boy had stolen the car, and so the police took all of them to the station and interviewed them to find out who to arrest. My daughter had explained to them what she later told us, and they believed her.

After we returned home, we decided that everyone should get some sleep, and we would talk about everything the next day. I was unable to sleep, being in a state of anxiety and fear. It was a still night, and I began to hear a bird singing. It seem to be almost directly outside my window. I became frustrated and almost furious because the bird sang so loudly and relentlessly that I could not even begin to close my eyes and go to sleep. Slowly, it began to permeate my thought that every time the bird sang, the song was different. I suddenly understood that it was a Mockingbird. Eventually, I just began to listen to the varied songs and realized that, even after a long period of time, not one of the songs was the same. It came to me that this effortless and creative singing is representative of what the real man is. It is what my daughter is. The bird cannot help but express its nature. I knew that my daughter was the same as this bird. She is her own true, wonderful self, just being the expression of God. Nothing could ever touch that or harm who she really is. This statement from the textbook reverberated in my thought and brought a sense of peace — “Man is the expression of God’s being.” SH 470: 23-24. I was finally able to sleep.

The next morning, everyone was completely calm. My daughter’s punishment was that for the rest of the weekend, she could not call friends, listen to music, watch television, or be involved in any kind of entertainment. She was completely receptive to this, and the next two days were quiet and peaceful. When I asked her later what she felt she had learned from these days of stillness, she told me that she had turned to art and drawing. She said she discovered that she didn’t really need any of the other entertaining distractions, and that she was something beyond all that. Although she is now a successful business woman, she has also become an accomplished artist and photographer. I can still hear the songs of the Mockingbird when I quiet my thought and reflect on this wonderful healing. 

2. Technique & Expression

Quite a number of years ago, I lived in the Los Angeles area with my family. My sister and her husband were visiting. At that time they were in a professional string quartet and were in town making a recording. Towards the end of their time there, we were sitting in the living room having a quiet conversation. My siblings and I had been raised as musicians, but I had stopped playing the violin for over a decade. In another day or so, my family would be heading to San Diego to participate as coaches in an amateur chamber music workshop. As they were speaking about it, my thought drifted away. I looked at the front window. A shaft of light came through a gap in the curtains and was shining into the room. I suddenly and unexpectedly found myself saying that if I were to ever play the violin again, I would never consider being a professional. I would only want to be an amateur.  Before I understood what was happening, my family members had asked if I wanted to participate in the workshop where they would be coaching. I reminded them that I didn’t have a violin. Within a half hour, my sister had contacted the head of the workshop and gained permission for me to attend for free. My brother-in-law had contacted a local music shop and arranged to borrow a violin for the next week. I went to my room, packed some clothes, and we all left the next morning for the workshop, which would last almost a week.

We were staying at dorms at San Diego State University. After all the excitement of traveling, and checking into my room, the reality of everything crashed down on me. I hadn’t played the violin in 11 years, and the schedule required me to rehearse for four hours every day and perform in a daily master class. I would then sight read chamber music every evening for several hours with other participants in the workshop. I panicked. How was I going to accomplish all that without ending up with blisters on my fingers and many sore muscles?

I immediately turned to my understanding of Christian science for answers. It was not long before I realized that there is only God and God‘s expression. I am that expression. Therefore, the concept of technique is really the concept of an intermediary between God and God‘s expression. There actually is no such thing as technique. This was completely clear to me. I have to admit that it didn’t take very long to come to that realization. The next week I proceeded to participate fully in the workshop. I never had a single sore muscle or even the hint of a blister on my hands.

After the workshop was over, my brother-in-law told me about a wonderful violin maker in Chicago that he knew. He said he felt the sound of the violins he made was very spiritual. He explained how much the maker charged and that he was sure he would be able to talk to him about sending me a violin and allowing me to pay off the amount that it would cost. Within a very short period of time, this was all accomplished. Ten months later, my violin was paid for.

I began to do some gigs in the LA area, and after a few years, I became a professional musician and eventually a teacher. These two things I had promised myself I would never do, but God had other plans. Not only did I have no negative physical reaction to immersing myself in playing the violin again, but all the resistance I had to making it a profession dissolved as well. That glint of sunlight which inspired me to speak about playing again was the beginning of this remarkable unfoldment. Mrs. Eddy writes in the textbook, “God is the fountain of light, and He illumines one’s way when one is obedient.” SH 117:31

This experience also strengthened my understanding that healing comes from spiritual sense and not from a particular approach to giving a treatment. It’s not a technique but, as Mrs. Eddy writes —

“If Spirit or the power of divine Love bear witness to the truth, this is the ultimatum, the scientific way, and the healing is instantaneous.“ MW 411:10

I am so grateful for what the study and practice of Christian Science has given me.

Louise Googins

Law Suit Resolution (almost complete)

In 2015, I offered my nephew a place in my firm.  He accepted quickly and joined us on March 23, 2015.  He had an excellent offer.  I introduced him to my clients, and, as he had past experience as an investment “rep” and investment advisor, he adapted quickly and clients appreciated him.

He worked at home in Illinois two days a week and came to Madison other days.  There were no complaints and all was well. He had an agreement to purchase the majority interest in the firm and his father, my brother-in-law, was asked to write up the agreement.

I was warned this was a bad principle but I expected no trouble.

Then he died, a young man not yet fifty, out on a bike ride.  His wife found him on the curb close to their home, sprawled out.  The officials were quickly called and they worked diligently to bring him back.  After several days in the hospital, he was allowed to die.

I set up a meeting within two weeks with his father, who asked another attorney to join us. My responsibility was laid out and I agreed.  But the attorney suggested I had two choices, so I said I would think about them and meet again. I asked for a second meeting within a couple of days and specified I would be sending a check for 100% of the payment to rebuy the shares as planned. I was told that I could not do that as the estate was going through probate. My nephew had not properly listed all property for simple transfer to his spouse.

Matthew 5:25, King James, reads “Agree with thine adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.”  I did not understand; I assumed there was no disagreement and it was stated clearly what was expected in the first meeting after Karl’s death, thus I was unprepared for the lies and deception which followed.

Then began nearly four years of legal entanglement, lies, deception and craftiness.  I was amazed at what was produced and some decisions of the judge.  I had expected there would be no problems, that his wife and his father would say, “He had a fair and excellent deal, and we do not expect any more.”

I read in materials from Christian Science and Mary Baker Eddy, author,  that “Lies and deceptions” must be uncovered and I worked with the principles I learned in Christian Science.  It was difficult for over three and a half years.  Three parties tangled: the deceased employee’s wife who instituted a law suit against me, my defense required by her law suit, and finally, my law suit against the attorneys and their law firm for legal malpractice.

In November of 2023, we were asked to participate in a mediation on a particular day.  The other two parties talked and we seemed marginally involved. In December of 2023, we were asked what we needed for resolution.  We made six statements. My attorney explained that I could ask, but those requests were unlikely to be accepted. I knew the statements were honest and truthful requests for return of what had been taken.

Then, we received two different proposals that my attorney explained reasons for considering or accepting.  He had been careful to explain the legal language as the years passed. I could not accept any of the offers as lies and deception had not been rooted out.  We continued to prepare for trial as we had been doing for nearly four years.

There seemed no end, no resolution, but I believed God and his government was in charge  and it would be decided with principle and truth. God intervened.

My attorney received a phone call one evening explaining the opponents would fulfill all my requests.  My attorney was amazed and so was I.  But the Bible tells us to continue to ask and we shall receive.  Matthew 7:7, King James: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you.”

I am blessed and grateful.

Patti Gmeiner

Question

The main question that has been on my mind lately, is "How do we overcome the thoughts and feelings of personal sense?"  I've noticed that it sometimes comes in the form of guilt.  Guilt for not having handled things better yesterday, or last month, or even 25 years ago!  It also comes in the form of doubt: doubt that I can handle something today, or something coming up soon. And even in the form of a wrong conviction: a conviction that there's no way I can be a real healer.  But then the lifeline comes, "Well of course you can't be a real healer; God is the only healer, so get out of the way!"  Then I guess the question is really: "How can we more consistently drop personal sense?” 

Fruitage 3

Lately, I've been considering how to pray more effectively for the world.

One thought that has been on my mind, is "How can I be sure I'm doing my part to help preserve democracy in the US, and around the world?"  Then my next thought was that I'm going about this all wrong.  God's kingdom is not a democracy.  God is in charge.  (We don't get a vote.)  So rather than feel I need to help preserve democracy, perhaps I should be more concerned that I'm acknowledging and witnessing God's government daily, which is even better than democracy, and shows up in proper self-government.  

I remember Mrs. Eddy telling her workers not to pray for a particular outcome of a legal case.  One worker said:  "I was not to outline what the verdict would be but to know that Truth would prevail and that divine Mind would direct the verdict—which it certainly did." (WKMBE Vol 1, page 363)  And that reminded me of this: "I cited, as our present need, faith in God’s disposal of events." (The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, Mary Baker Eddy, p. 281:6–7)

Fruitage 2

I've also been wondering how I can best pray for the world that there be no more wars.  (They're so barbaric!) Then I started thinking about how, when healing is needed, we don't set out to fix something, but rather, we set out to see what God has already done.  So then I thought that it's the same thing concerning the wars in the world.  I'm not praying to stop them, but I'm praying to see what God's kingdom is really like, and that this kingdom is already right here, right now!  (Am I trusting that "Thy kingdom is come"?)  I remember years ago when my mom passed away, my dad said that now where she was, there were no more wars.  That made me declare silently that that's where I live right now.  (We don't have to die to experience heaven!)

Then I thought of looking back at MBE: Christian Healer again, especially "More Advice for Healers."  Right away, I noticed that Mrs. Eddy "rebukes the error [her students] entertain, but not the students themselves." (page 391)  That pointed out my own error, of blaming world leaders for the terrible wars, instead of rebuking impersonal evil. And on page 404: "She...asked that we might know that there was 'no rift in the rhythm of the eternal harmony.'"  

Isaiah says, "...He shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more."  (Isaiah 2:4)

Then there was one more especially helpful passage on page 399, "Go into your secret upper chamber' (observatory), shut out observation and the world since the kingdom of good cometh not thereby--and pray." I recognized this as referring to this passage from Luke:

¶ And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.

(Luke 17:20, 21)

Pondering all of this has helped me feel much less anxious about what's going on in the news, and has given me a clearer way to pray.  

Thanks so much for this assignment!

Fruitage 1

I was listening to the public radio program, "A Way with Words," and they started talking about "thin places."  I had never heard that phrase before.  Here are two explanations of it:

NY Times:  "locales where the distance between heaven and earth collapses and we’re able to catch glimpses of the divine, or the transcendent or, as I like to think of it, the Infinite Whatever."

pres-outlook.org: "a concept in Celtic Christianity used to identify sacred spaces. In thin places, the boundary between heaven and earth becomes more permeable. We encounter God in fresh ways that startle us out of our inattention, and we are often transformed by the experience."

Apparently they are referring to physical places where people feel the veil between earth and heaven is thin.  But this made me consider what mental or spiritual conditions or attitudes could make that veil thinner to us.  So I went back to MBE: Christian Healer, and reread many of my underlined passages.  The one spiritual condition that really stood out to me was Mrs. Eddy's humility.  Of course Jesus described the ultimate humility:  "I can of mine own self do nothing:" (John 5:30), and "... the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works." (John 14:10)  I couldn't help but notice the same in Mrs. Eddy, throughout her life.  Here's one example from the biography:  

 "...a man was brought to the International Hotel who had met with an accident which had injured . . . his spine and had broken both his legs above the knees. ... She went and stood inside the door of the sick room & said to the patient, 'Why don’t you get up?' He turned his head and looked at her surprised, then turned his head and looked up. She said again, 'Get up.' He got up and walked about the room, the wooden splints on his limbs clattering at every step and he came to the door and bowed her out.

"In describing this healing to her household in 1902, Mrs. Eddy told them that when she was first asked to help she didn’t think she could, but then the thought came to her, 'God can do it.'  I went to his bed side and lifted my thought silently to God.'” (p. 52-53)  

Here's another place in the biography got my attention about her humility:

"One person, it might have been Rev. Williams the pastor, asked if she could restore the blind—She replied no, but God could, if we would let Him do the work."  (p. 109)

I felt inspired by this power of humility to remove, in a degree, the seeming veil that would keep us from seeing the heaven, harmony that is here, now.  Soon after pondering this, I had a very uncomfortable situation arise with a close friend.  She seemed disturbed by a decision I had made, and I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I felt sure I had made the best decision for the moment, yet I didn't want my friend to feel hurt.  I quickly thought back on what I had just pondered about humility, and how it can help us see through whatever would obscure our ability to see heaven, harmony. Sure enough, the very next day, there was no more discomfort.  We had a very good conversation, and the air was cleared right up. There was nothing to fix.  Harmony had been the fact all along. 

I just wanted to say thank you for this year's assignment.  Lately I have had a very long list of reasons for feeling super stressed and anxious.  For days I had a knot in my stomach.  From a mortal point of view, I could have felt completely justified in feeling that way.  But then, that would just keep me there, and I needed a way out.

I thought I should really review the passages I had underlined while reading MBE Christian Healer as part of our assignment.  I found this, on page 137: "We sail into the great, glorious sea of possibilities through the storm and not the calm."  I loved that!!!  It made me feel much less concerned about the "storm," and very interested in the "glorious sea of possibilities."  

I realized that my goal was not really to have everything work out harmoniously for all involved (although surely that will ultimately be the outcome), but rather, to lose the fear, and feel God's peace now.  If I wait for circumstances to change before I feel at peace, then I'm leaving myself open to anxiety again in some other circumstance.  I didn't want my peace to come from without, but from within.  Then it will last.

While considering the "glorious sea of possibilities," I was reminded of "God's Law of Adjustment" by Adam H. Dickey.  I hadn't read or listened to it in years, but there it was, on jsh online, so I listened to it.  When I heard, "When we in our helplessness reach the point where we see we are unable of ourselves to do anything, and then call upon God to aid us; when we are ready to show our willingness to abandon our own plans, our own opinions, our own sense of what ought to be done under the circumstances, and have no fear as to the consequences--then God's law will take possession of and govern the whole situation. ... When we reach the point where we can in confidence and in trust leave everything to the settlement of God's law of adjustment, it will immediately relieve us of all sense of personal responsibility, remove anxiety and fear, and bring peace, comfort, and the assurance of God's protecting care."  Whew!  That helped me let go of everything!  I have not had a knot in my stomach since.

Today, I still have that long list of things that haven't yet been resolved, but I'm no longer anxious about any of it.  Now I know it will all work out, in God's glorious way.

Thank you again for this wonderful assignment!

Nancy Jacobsen

I hesitated to send this as it is a very recent healing of a very long term. Of alcohol abuse. Too often, those who have been sober for a short time return to drinking. However, This experience has been an answer too many years of prayer and I am refusing to allow my thought to doubt what I am sure is gods work.

    My youngest daughter has had a problem with alcohol for most of her adult life. She lost her daughter of 14 years and her son at age 30. Her daughter died in a tragic accident and her son of a drug overdose. Drinking became routine, a nightly event.

    When intoxicated, she often called me and other family members. The calls became so unpleasant that she was blocked by everyone in the family but me. Occasionally she resorted to other means of contact, even including the police.

    Throughout the years her sisters reached out and tried to help and encourage her, but they reached a point where they no longer wanted to have anything to do with her. I continued to answer her phone calls , mostly during the day, but even when she wasn’t drinking, The calls escalated into such negativity that sometimes I had to hang up.

    I knew that the only real answer to the situation was God. Every day I prayed acknowledging who she really is- A perfect child of God. I knew that in God‘s creation it was no such thing as alcoholism. God is the only cause and affect, and nothing that was not created by him can be a cause or have an affect.

    For years I worked with truths ideas. I knew that God was the God of the impossible and he makes all things new. So often I had to keep fighting against doubt, miss trust and fear. Yet, I knew and could sense God‘s love for both of us and that my daughter would be delivered. The thought kept coming to me, “the work is done. “

    Throughout this time, I tried to share with her what I knew about God‘s love for her. I sent her numerous letters and often called to share with her particular inspirations that I felt had come from God.

    About three months ago I received a text from her saying that she had gone into treatment. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. She was there for 30 days and the time since has been what I can only call joyous.

    We talk every day and share  so much. She truly has a new outlook on life, is a happy person and, most important she acknowledges this gift from God. This weeks lesson talks about the mist covering the whole face of the ground. Now it is as if the mist is lifted and God‘s light is with us - as it always was.

Marjorie Kurtz

I haven’t yet finished reading the book on Mary Baker Eddy, Christian healer.   But I have discovered that a recollection of one of Mrs. Eddy’s students and another example of instantaneous healing of a stranger really got my attention.  I got a flash of insight after reading these short examples that I think has been hanging around my thought in some form or fashion for a while now, even before I took Class Instruction or even began wondering if going into the practice was even a thing I should be considering.   These two short recollections raised my curiosity and thought some more.

In one example, a young boy born with deformed feet and who had never walked since his birth was carried everywhere by his mother.  One day she brought her son to the beach to enjoy the warm day.  She laid him on a blanket on the sand and covered his feet and then walked away to join with other adults nearby.  Others were swimming in the water.   

On this same day, by holy coincidence, but not randomly I’m sure, Mrs. Eddy was led to go to this same beach on the same day.   As she walked, she noticed the boy sitting by himself.  She walked near him and asked him why he wasn’t in the water with the others.   He replied he couldn’t walk and never had.   When Mrs. Eddy heard that, she lifted the blanket from his legs and saw his feet turned out awkwardly and appearing deformed.   But her great compassion, spiritual wisdom and loving nature caused her to naturally take the hands of the boy and pull him up off the ground and helped him get his feet underneath him and coaxed him to walk with her.

She stayed with him for a little while until he was walking much more naturally and comfortably.  At some point then the boy’s mother returned to check on the boy and discovered he and Mrs. Eddy were together walking together on the beach front.

It’s hard to imagine for me how tuned in to Truth and Love she must have been in those moments on that particular day to be able to completely see beyond the human picture and be part of a healing result that was observed by others and accepted by others without any formal request to pray on anyone’s behalf.  And yet the healing was complete and the results were appreciated and accepted on some level by others present.

Her clear understanding of God’s power was enough to apply that power to these people and she was so convinced of the truth about them, even their own thought changed.  With their changed thought, their outward appearance or physical appearance changed instantly to bring about that healing effect.

So I think my question then becomes am I missing something else?   Is my conclusion too simplistic to be accurate?   Is there more to healing others than that?  I know that Mrs. Eddy has always insisted that really feeling and imbibing a higher level of Love must be felt and expressed consistently in our daily lives.   I get that.  And I often feel moments or maybe several minutes of that higher love after a particularly focused time in silent prayer on occasion.  But I haven’t achieved it more consistently than that so far.  I want to.  But I’m not there yet.  I want to do better in listening to God as far as how effective I can be each day in expressing that great love myself during my day.  I strive for that.  I fall short a lot.

The other example of healing instantly was told by the book’s author that one day Mrs. Eddy was walking down the sidewalk and came near to a man who was sitting down on the ground or near to the ground with a pair of crutches.   She saw him, she quietly approached him and leaned down to whisper in his ear God loves you.  She continued her walk and a student of Mrs. Eddy who happened to observe these moments from a distance, saw the man then begin to stand up without the use of the crutches and walk away.  The student believed that she had witnessed a healing of that man.   Again, no specific prayer was asked of her by him beforehand.   She merely somehow corrected that physical, false picture in her mind when she saw it and probably thought no more of it as she continued on her way.

So this seems to demonstrate  Mrs. Eddy’s response to some of her students when they asked her how could they also heal more consistently and why weren’t they as successful as she was.  Her reply to them was something along the lines of you must believe through a greater understanding that the words you share with patients or know in your own thought are real, true, lasting and effective.

You adamantly declare the truth you know to be present always and unchanging and that’s what impels your healing power.  Or better yet, you apply the laws of God to the claim, the false belief, that’s been voiced to you by the patient.  It’s not a real thing that you are trying to reverse or remove.  It’s more of a belief in the absence of God.  In leaving our first Love.

As I’ve thought about this idea lately, I’ve come upon a bit of possible insight that maybe effective healing is establishing in my thought that everything of God is good and comes in a natural balance of his laws of being.  There are no extremes from God.

So therefore, we can apply this idea of perfect balance to all things.  For example, weather.  When I was living in Portage, a small community only 35 miles north of Madison, tornado watches and warnings were frequent.  Over the many years I lived there, when I was aware that a possible tornado could develop during a thunderstorm and that keeping watch on the changing conditions was essential for safety, I applied the idea of perfect balance to that weather condition.   So often, when I was at home and there was an expectation of a tornado, I would specifically pray along the lines of I know that weather conditions in the natural world could never cause God’s perfect balance in creation to go out of balance or that God could be absent partially or completely from  his own creation as if he was watching from afar while we were in danger or injured or killed or suffered from damage caused by the wind, rain or tornado presence.   I included anyone who was near or in and around the area that was supposed to be affected.   I also established in my thought that if the mental atmosphere of people including myself were unwittingly fearful or angry or feeling helpless or sad, that was one way of experiencing  the outward expression of destruction or damage from the weather.  But I could know with certainty, that no one including myself would be attracted to that erroneous thought and that only joy , love, humility, patience and courage from God would be present in thought and able to reverse those mental images and dissipate the damage or destruction of a tornado or storm.    Trees may have been knocked down and roof tiles were torn off and blown around, but no one was reported lost or missing or harmed.

I’ve found the natural balance of God’s laws can be applied to our physical body in terms of balanced weight appropriate for our frame.  I didn’t always know this.   When I was younger and for much of my early years, I was much heavier than I liked or wanted to be.  I didn’t like how I looked or felt when I looked in the mirror.   That remained so for many, many years.  I grew up in a family of athletes and so physical exercise and physicality was regularly talked about and was an expectation as I grew up.   But I still didn’t like the mirror image I saw.

I came to realize that when I really think about it, I can, with better understanding, know now that we are perfectly formed and designed so even our temporary bodies must express the correct and natural balance of weight and flexibility which is appropriate for our life and activities and can remain unchanged and perfect all our life.  I have gradually been shedding some old beliefs about food and causes of food and material beliefs about muscle and exercise and stopped following a prescribed diet trend of which there are so many these days.

I work at spiritualizing my thought to reject those worldly beliefs around food and nutrition and applied the law of God’s natural expression to my thought and body.  And over time, my excess weight has begun to drop off and I am able to enjoy exercising periodically in the gym more as a real desire to express strength and flexibility and qualities of Soul like movement and freedom and ease and not be tied to mortal laws about discordant body and material health and limited strength or endurance or aging.

These laws of God also cause a natural and unlimited access to resources as a result of knowing there is a right balance provided by Principle, Mind for every need.   Whatever we need for any good and righteous purpose is available to us.   Not too little and not too much.  Abundant resources that are more than adequate and not excessive enough to be wasted.  This new understanding has been coming to me gradually recently and has been very present in my experience.  It just feels so right and normal now and I’ve not felt that about my employment and income and financial obligations  before.  Step  by step some of my longstanding financial beliefs about debt and outdated ideas about money and social status and so on have improved and my concern about my income have altered and been replaced with a greater sense of natural balance.

I have been able to apply this idea of natural balance to my mental and emotional and physical health in a way I’ve never done before.   Lately, my thought has been receptive to the idea that my joy and happiness are endless and ever present.  My thought about companionship and love for friends and my recent marriage have been lifted as a result of understanding that natural law of God is present.  I’ve also noticed a smoothing out of and release of negative thoughts towards extended family members or others that I was holding on to and felt freedom from that by applying my new understanding to these things.

I’ve also been steadily letting go of ancient judgments and condemnations of myself and other grudges I had towards people.  In its place, I find that when I watch my thought more carefully and reverse un-Godlike thoughts, I find my daily work assignment improves, my home projects get done smoothly, my church and charity activities are met.  My friends and I spend quality time together even though we may not be creating more time to meet necessarily on a regular basis .  I experience more of that natural balance of life and human activities that are governed by God’s law of adjustment.

I still wonder though about whether I am ready or there is still so much more to learn about in order to be worthy of moving myself toward entry into the practice some time.   I probably need to make a lot more demonstrations before that occurs, but it still feels somewhat urgent sometimes that I should be walking in that direction, at least.

Sarah Maner

Greetings to my fellow Christian Scientists. My favorite occasion of the year is here and I am grateful to be among you.

This passage from MBE Christian Healer, p218, is for me the reason that we have gathered together today.

“For Mary Baker Eddy, GAINING and living a practical understanding of God was the purpose of life. And she demanded that this be done through spiritual understanding—-a comprehension acquired through prayer, revelation, and working with the ideas gained from studying the Bible, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, and her other writings. To Mrs Eddy, spiritual healing of human problems was the primary means for making practical one’s understanding of God. She established her Church to awaken human consciousness to the understanding of man’s inseparable relationship with God; the natural result of that understanding is healing.

Isn’t that what we are all striving for? Gaining and living a practical understanding of God. Man’s inseparable relationship with God is one that I must be reminded over and over again when the material senses tell me a different story. Uplifting my thoughts at times seems like a battle that can’t be won. I am trying so hard because I think that if I just try harder, the healing will come. When it doesn’t happen as quickly as I think it should, I think that I must be doing something wrong. Once again, I am reminded by my teacher and practitioner that I am not the do-er, the creator and manager of the good in my life. God is the Good and I need to let go and trust in God.

MBE says in Christian Healer, p. 227:“Stop trying so hard, make less of personality; know yourself, that you have nothing to treat; quit arguing so much. Have faith, by understanding that if you believe what you argue, it is already done.”

I want to share a healing that has made a significant impact in my studies of Christian Science. I have been battling for years with addiction, not able to let go of medication that I used to help me sleep. I came to Christian Science in 2020 during the pandemic and then became a serious student in 2021. Every time that I read the 6th tenet I always cringed inside when I said “and to be just, merciful, and pure.” (S&H, p.497) I sure didn’t feel pure. I prayed and prayed about it. I wanted to stop, but struggled to let go. I haven’t taken any medication, vitamins, or even seen a doctor since becoming a Christian Scientist, but this seemed to a mountain that I just couldn’t get over. I was always filled with guilt, shame, and remorse every time I turned to it instead of God.

I had many talks with my practitioner and teacher who never judged or condemned me. She only gave me love and reassurance that God can fulfill our every need no matter what that need is. I knew it to be true, but was not able to trust that I would be ok without it. Then, I started to notice I was always feeling tired and during the weekends I could barely keep up with my responsibilities. I kept turning down special invitations or events with friends telling them I was sick. I was ready to quit the Improv Team that I had been excited to perform with.

I thought that I was dealing with exhaustion and when I sat in prayer to handle it, I clearly heard God’s voice “you have to stop taking your medication”. That evening, I didn’t take it. I woke up that next morning filled joy and jubilation. But, that evening mortal mind got the best of me and I took it again. In fact, I continued taking it for the remainder of the week. That following Sunday after church, I attended our metaphysical meeting and the topic was Obedient Listening. A church member shared a healing that she had because she decided to trust God and was obedient to what He had asked her to do. I woke up that next morning and knew what I had to do. I gathered up all of the medication, put it in a box, wrapped it in a plastic bag, then threw it in the dumpster where I live. I haven’t taken it any more since that day. Since that time, I do hear mortal mind at times asking for it. I have gone directly to MBE, Christian Science Healer and have poured myself into our Association assignment. I don’t feel that horrible exhaustion that I had felt before. I stayed on the Improv Team. I have had more energy for my work. Overall, I have felt a sense of renewal, joy, clarity and a sense of hope that yes, God does take care of our every need. God was present the entire time waiting for me to trust and let go.

I went to a family wedding in April for my nephew. A month before the wedding, I was feeling terrified to attend because I found out that two of my sisters who have both threatened me with bodily harm, had said cruel things about me, and falsely accused me of things that I had not done had also been invited to the wedding. They had even included my son in these attacks. I imagined them both doing something harmful to me in front of everyone at the wedding and causing a scene. My two other sisters told me that they were going to make sure that their spouses and son-in-laws would be there to protect us. I knew this was not the solution and that I had to turn to God. I came across this passage in MBE, Christian Science Healer, p.245: “...never treat personally to ward off malicious animal magnetism. If you do, it is, as God revealed through Science and Health, a fight of the beasts; it is error meeting error, and the best of the two persons will always get the worst in this warfare.

Let our infinite judgment never settle on who is troubling us, and never defend ourselves against a person. Rather ask what is troubling, and then meet the what.”

Before, when I encountered problems with people who were attacking me with animal magnetism, I always met the problem to defend myself against them. I thought of the person, the personality that I must fight against. I had been praying to see them as God’s perfect children, but I still felt the dread of seeing them. This letter shared some light how to meet the problem andI had a clearer understanding of how to handle it. I asked myself what is troubling me about this situation. I realized that I was afraid. It seemed the moment that I named the what it began to disperse immediately. What does one do about fear? Know that Love is always present. Where there is Love, fear does not exist. I no longer felt afraid. The week before the wedding I was filled with joy, happiness and excitement.

Then, God brought to light my wrongdoing with one of my sisters in particular. I clearly saw how my actions had hurt her and knew that I needed to apologize. I prepared a small package of family photos and a card with my written apology for the harm that I had caused her the last time that we had seen each other. The wedding weekend arrived and none of us knew if she was going to show up. She did make an appearance after the rehearsal dinner and I gave the package to her. The following evening when she arrived at the wedding reception, she came to me and thanked me for the card. The entire weekend was harmonious, joyful and full of celebration for my nephew and his bride. I am truly grateful for the healing and the peace that the healing brought to my family.

Psalm 27: THE LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

From MBE Christian Healer“What I need for help in my life-labor more than all else on earth is a -healer such as I [was] when practicing...Gain that one point, [be] an instantaneous healer of all manner of diseases. I [was] that, and you should be. Our great Master was that and called upon his followers to do likewise. You can be this and must be in order to be a Christian Scientist. Now address yourself to this duty of yours, watch, pray, labor, and have faith! —Know that you can be what God demands you to be and now are—-His image and likeness—-reflecting God, the one and only Healer, reflecting God, Life, Truth, Love.

This is what I aspire to be: A healer so that I can help others. It is not enough just to pray and treat myself. We are called to do this work as Christian Scientists. I love the part of the above passage that says “Know that you can be what God demands you to be and now are—-“ This is very reassuring for me because I don’t have to plan, fret, or worry how am I going to do accomplish this demand. God is preparing me, shaping me, and showing me how. I have faith in his promises.

Matthew 10:8 Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.

Jane Moyer

Reading Christian Healer again (and again) this spring has made a big impact on my thinking and practice. The demand and means are clear:

• Be Alert and Ready to Heal in All Aspects of Experience. Put God First.

• Be Tough on Error, Full of Love

• Destroy Any Belief of Evil. Eradicate Sin.

• Don’t Attach Personality to Error

• God Heals, So Get Out of the Way!

• Rouse Thought! Awake from the Dream of Life in Matter! Defend Yourself!

• Imbibe More of the Spirit. Let Flood-Tides of Truth and Love Fill Your Consciousness.

Working with all of these daily, it surprised me to find that the one that came to the forefront was related to the belief of personality - that I or others have one, that there could be any cause or effect, element or power other than God’s. Here’s one recent experience:

A couple of months ago, I was presented with a part-time employment opportunity that seemed like a wonderful fit and blessing for all involved. As I was about to move forward with it, though, a new leader stepped in and imposed a huge new set of requirements and policies that appeared to be difficult, unfair, unnecessarily rigid, and completely different from what I had thought I was signing up for! I struggled for several days trying to figure out how to respond. I kept praying, “Shepherd, show me how to go,” and trying to listen, but there seemed to be a lot of noise on the line— speculation as to why things had changed, mental replaying of conversations, formulating arguments to justify my reaction, crafting possible negotiating points and solutions … Follow-up conversations seemed to just make things worse.

Then one morning this in Christian Healer, which I had moved more quickly over before, gave me pause: There is no personality, and this is more important to know than that there is no disease…  I realized that this was a claim on one hand of another’s big, difficult, powerful personality that seemed to be negatively affecting me and others in the organization and at the same time, a suggestion that any part of me, my thinking, or my experience could be separate from God.

Acknowledging all-powerful Love at the helm, I saw I didn’t need to fear effects of any other supposed power or rely on my own wits and strategies. The sense of “self” needed to be released and removed - any self-will, self-justification, pride, fear, or personal sense. The task, then, was to just handle error—the error of the belief of many minds or incompatible needs; the impossibility of anything but complete harmony and perfect coordination in God’s kingdom; the powerlessness of seeming obstacles to delay or prevent the proper painless progress for organizations or individuals.

Two points from Christian Healer were helpful here:

Never deal with evil as evil deals with you. Never return personal arguments to meet personal arguments, or you will be continually subject to their return. Evil is not real; there are no talkers on the side of evil. (p. 246) (It had become clear that personal arguments were not winning!)

Dear one, there is but one Mind—this one is yours, mine, and governs all. All our thoughts come to us from this Mind and return to their source. In this Mind, there is no material sense, and there is no other Mind—no mortal mind to tempt, to harm, to control us. Now know this, realize it, and you are the master of the occasion, the master of yourself and of others. (p. 250, letter to John Lathrop)

While I had felt some pressure of deadlines to make a decision, some space appeared in the process. Assured that “God is His Interpreter, and He will make it plain,” (Hymn 399) I was able to quiet my thought, let go of my own will and “wait patiently on Him.” When I stopped stewing, I was flooded with ideas of how the work in front of me could be done lovingly, joyously, and creatively if it was mine to do. One morning as I was praying, the thought came clearly, “Your joy no man taketh from you.” My joy, my place, my purpose, the goodness I could share with others and experience—whether in that particular place or another that would be provided—none of that was dependent on persons or policies or politics.

Before too long, the new policies were clarified and simplified, some new blessings and helpful resources appeared, some interpretations were softened, and a safe passage through the seeming political jungle opened.

This experience has helped me learn to be a little more unselfed, patient, properly humble and meek and less susceptible to letting mortal mind run me around in futile circles. The one Mind alone is governing all; we all reflect that Mind, and we know that.

Also, it made me more alert to differentiating between the belief of human personality, with its seeming limits and combination of good and evil, and spiritual individuality, with our completely good ever present spiritually-sourced shining qualities reflected from the Divine.

Watch & be sure that your love is increasing & your false sense of personality is diminishing & make everything that you say & do tend to produce this effect. A strong sense of the false personality retards the growth or yourself and those around you, the same as a strong sense of disease would prevent your healing and prevent your patient’s recovery (p. 397)

More fruitage:

I was so grateful for [a practitioner’s] help last January when it seemed I had badly hurt my back shoveling snow. It seemed it would be impossible for me to fulfill important commitments that week that included traveling, carrying and moving a lot of equipment, standing in front of a group for 2 full days, meeting with a lot of new people, and more. [the practitioner] helped me see that nothing could interrupt my connection with God, which included the spiritual sense of substance and all of the ideas and inspiration I needed coming directly from divine Mind. “Give your life back to God,” you instructed, and I did.

That week I had read this from Miscellaneous Writings: “Through the divine energies alone one must either get out of himself and into God so far that his consciousness is the reflection of the divine or he must, through argument and the human consciousness of both evil and good, overcome evil.” I chose the first part - the idea of getting out of self and into God. Also, this from Hymn 73 spoke to me: “God is Mind and holy thought is sending. Man, his image, hears his voice…. Losing self, in Him we find joy, health, hope for all mankind.”

Over a couple of days, the fear, pain, and sense of strain dissolved and I was able to freely and joyously go ahead with my work. In fact, those couple of days of work were the best ever, as I felt completely free of self and able to listen for the messages from God I needed to serve others well. There were clearly blessings for all involved; it was clearly all God’s doing.

I was so grateful to realize that the action of Truth doesn’t require a lot of time or discussion. It is just true and ever-operable.

One other small thing came up during that trip that brought increased gratitude for a growing understanding of Christian Science practice. Instead of packing larger containers of some toiletries for this trip, I had grabbed a bunch of small samples I had been given at some time. Before going to bed, I opened a packet of moisturizer and spread it on my face. There seemed to be a really bad reaction - my face was suddenly horribly red and irritated. (Oh, no! This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t appear in front of this group looking like that!) I tried to wash it off and it just got worse. I then stepped back and remembered that nothing could interrupt my connection with God or compromise His work. I affirmed that matter has no power or intelligence and I couldn’t be subject to any belief that it might.

I couldn’t sleep, so I picked up that week’s Bible lesson. In it was the story in Science and Health about the Oxford boys who ran an experiment with a felon, telling him he was bleeding to death, when they had simply run some warm water down his arm. Not realizing it was a trick, he believed them and thus died. Then it occurred to me that, somewhere awhile back, I had seen something about some ingredient in some facial moisturizers that was supposed to bring great benefits but caused a severe reaction in some people. I hadn’t paid much attention to that and didn’t think I had taken that in; now I needed to just firmly reject that lingering suggestion that matter had power for either good or evil. I didn’t need to panic or fear the consequences of a false belief. I just needed to reject it and replace it with the truth of my intact pure spiritual substance. Very quickly, the problem dissipated, I slept peacefully and in the morning was ready for a happy and productive day.

With love and gratitude.

Hilary Wise

Last autumn, I found myself in a situation where I urgently needed to find accommodation. A serious relationship was coming to an end, leaving me bereft and struggling to see a way forward in how God was providing for me.

The relationship ended, in part, due to differing views on Christian Science—specifically, its practical application to health. My then-boyfriend, a trained chemical engineer, did not understand Christian Science to be scientific. He felt my reliance on Christian Science could endanger my health and was at odds with the advancements of modern-day medical science. He did not feel able to commit to a life together with Christian Science in the picture. This was devastating to us both and to our families, as we had intended to get married.

As the relationship rapidly broke down, concerted prayer went into trusting that God's will was indeed good and unfolding moment by moment. Even though the discordant material picture seemed upsetting and void of clarity, I was trusting in Divine Love’s provision of constant good. I affirmed that Mind’s omnipresent goodness governed my consciousness—including my understanding of this individual’s sinless, upright spiritual identity—and our right next steps, together or apart.

One Friday night, it became all too clear to me that we were breaking up. I barely slept. At 4 am, I found myself frantically Googling apartments because I needed to find a new home urgently. By 9 am, I had set up multiple viewings—about six or seven apartments—all before 2 pm that same day. Alone, this was something to rejoice over. So, despite the lack of sleep and the pouring rain outside, I set out on my way, remaining peaceful, prayerful, and trusting that Mind was at work.

The first few apartments I viewed were sufficient but not up to the standard of living I was accustomed to. They reminded me of places I’d live in from my early 20s and not where I presently stood in my career and life. I budgeted conservatively and thought to myself, “I just need a temporary space to land.” I remained flexible and open-minded, appreciating what the apartments had to offer. Any evidence of good I attributed to God.

Before the third apartment viewing, I found myself waiting downstairs in the rain with another prospective tenant, a young man in his early 20s accompanied by his mother, who had flown in from Canada to help him find his first apartment in the city. While we waited, we spoke about his apartment search and I felt compelled to share information and guidance, for which they were very grateful. The apartment we viewed was lovely but far too small for me. As I knew it wasn't right for me but could be perfect for this young man, I encouraged him to take it. I felt like I had been led to support this mother and son find his new home and I cherished the feeling. I was reminded of this line from Science and Health on page 518: “…blessed is that man who seeth his brother’s need and supplieth it, seeking his own in another’s good.”

When I arrived at the next viewing, the agent immediately struck me as a lovely man; he was chivalrous and paternal. When we had spoken on the phone earlier that morning to confirm the viewing, he had explained that he couldn’t come into the city but was sending a colleague on his behalf. However, there he stood before me to help me.

Upon learning more about my situation, he showed genuine compassion. He shared his own relationship challenges with a recent divorce. He went out of his way to show me another property within my conservative budget. While it was sufficient but not to current standards, he leveled with me and said, "Look, how much are you willing to spend? Because if you can go just a little bit above your current budget, there's a beautiful building a little further south in a neighborhood that you maybe haven't considered yet, but the apartments inside have all been fully refurbished with brand new appliances. No one has lived in these apartments since the refurbishment. It’s all beautiful and brand new.” I agreed to see the property.

While we drove to the building, the agent shared more about his life. He was a former Navy SEAL and valued structured, scientific thinking. He explained to me that after leaving the military he had retrained as a pharmacist. He also shared that he was a very religious man, and his grandmother fondly called him “preacher” because he loved to talk about God. He said to me, "I know a lot of people don’t believe you can be scientific and religious, but I disagree…”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! It was like God was speaking to me face-to-face saying, “Here is a lovely man who represents to you what I need you to know to be true: man as upright, good, compassionate, caring, and expressing an understanding of science that doesn’t clash with an understanding of and love for the divine.”

When we arrived at the apartment building, we viewed two apartments. Right away, I knew the second apartment we viewed was my next home. It was spacious and clean, and located on a beautiful tree-lined street with fountains outside. I thanked the agent with tears in my eyes and said how grateful I was for him being my angel for the day guiding me to this perfect place and the good he was bringing into my life.

He turned to me and he said, "Well, of course this good is happening to you. It's because you're a reflection. The good that you express, you're seeing it reflected right back at you.”

Again, I was amazed. Reflection? Expression? These were Christian Science words! It felt like God was precisely saying to me, “Here I am! I know exactly the good you need to hear and see, and I’m giving it to you precisely in a way that you will understand.”

And then the agent said, “I don’t know if you’re someone of faith, but I think that now would be a good time for you to pray.”

Of course, I had to laugh and then explain that, indeed, I did pray and deeply cherished my relationship to God.

In less than a week, I had signed a rental contract and managed to negotiate a hundred dollars off the monthly rent. Two weeks later, I moved in harmoniously with the unselfish and compassionate support of my ex-boyfriend.

I've been living in the apartment for about eight months now, and I’ve found myself to be the happiest and most settled I've ever been in my own home. The proximity to my office enables me to easily walk to and from work on occasions, and my commute to church is also shorter. It has been spacious enough to accommodate my parents, whose frequent visits are a huge joy after our having lived countries apart for over 10 years.

It’s rare that a day goes by when I don’t actively express gratitude for my home. It’s a precious space where I feel enveloped by Love and at peace knowing that my needs continue to be precisely met.

Rebekah Weiskopf

Our beautiful mare, Fabiola, had enjoyed an easy pregnancy and in late May, 2023 gave birth to a beautiful baby colt we named Fidelio. 

When the time for weaning came in early December, 2023, I felt keenly Fidelio’s panic and longing, and his mother Fabiola’s grief. Being relatively new to being a horse mom, I gladly followed the advice of old hands in the business. 

While Fidelio had new companionship at his new barn in the form of a couple of other foals, and seemed to take to his new life without his mother, Fabiola did not stop grieving for what seemed the longest time. Despite eating heartily, she lost huge amounts of weight, to the point where her ribs and hip bones protruded, looking for all the world as if she’d been starved. Further, she seemed nervous and no longer allowed herself to be petted or stroked. She became the target of bullying by the other mares in the herd, to the point where the trainer would bring her into her stall everyday to feed her so that the others wouldn’t run her off her feed bucket out in the field and steal her food.

This went on for two months, until I attended Primary Class Instruction. Newly armed with the truth of what I had learned in Christian Science healing, I took up Fabiola’s case without telling a soul, and the trainer called me up a week later to proclaim that she had suddenly turned the corner and gained about 35 lb. in that one week alone! 

On returning home and seeing Fabiola, I noted with happiness the improvement in her weight. But she still was quite nervous, sad and seemingly inconsolable. I felt guilty for having participated in a humanly wrought idea of weaning, the very thing that had caused my beautiful horse such grief, instead of allowing nature to take its course (it turns out domesticated horses will in fact naturally and easily wean their babies at around 10 months of age). As a first time horse mom, I had ignored inner promptings to listen to what the horses needed, and given way to a traditional way of doing things, and I was not the only one not liking the result.

I kept on working. I assured Fabiola I would never do this again, and that if she had another baby, we would do it her way. I also told her that her baby Fidelio was very well and that I was looking after him. I also gave my human sense of blame and guilt and ideas of “right and wrong” to God as best I could. 

Within 8 weeks Fabiola had regained all her weight - around 200 lb. total. But even better, she is no longer the object of bullying by her field mates, and she allows herself to be petted and stroked and loved, seeking it out from my daughter and me, and no longer shying away. She is relaxed, beautiful and happy, a happy horse in a field with friends. Her horse friends no longer are fighting over the attention we give to her, or any one of them, but suddenly and easily sharing all the love and attention peacefully and happily. 

Good in the midst of “an accident”.

Another horse story: 

After his weaning, we placed our baby colt, Fidelio, at a fancy farm in Middleburg, VA, one which purported to be expert at raising stallions and stallion prospects, along with baby horses. 

While he took to the new place and his new foal friends, Lucy and Leo, it became obvious within a couple of months that he was not thriving there. He was skinny, had lost significant amounts of muscle, his coat was lackluster and he was not moving energetically and freely as he previously had. The breeder, who came to visit him, sounded the alarm bell. After two veterinarians examined him, they agreed that, while he was not sick, he certainly wasn’t thriving. A closer look revealed that his 2 foal friends were not thriving either. Upon investigation, I discovered that none of them had been getting fed hay while out in the frozen field over the winter…the field had been over-grazed and the remaining grass was dead. Added to that, I discovered the foals were being fed only a quarter of their daily feed requirement. Even more important than feed, horses of all ages require forage 21 hours a day. In asking the farm owner to rectify the situation immediately, inexplicably I was given a clear “no” as were the two veterinarians who urgently asserted the baby horses’ absolute requirement for round the clock access to hay. The vets told me to immediately remove my colt from the premises for his own well-being and safety.  I made arrangements right away, and was heartened that my friend’s colt, and Fidelio’s best buddy, Leo, would move barns with us.

It was a challenge for me not to be very angry about the malnourishment and mistreatment my baby horse had received at this barn. I knew that I absolutely had to focus on getting the job done of moving him safely and had to get my personal sense of harm and grievance out of my thought. I silently recited the Lord’s Prayer over and over again. I asked God for His Will to take over. It was a struggle as there was already a seed of fear in my mind. But I persisted in my prayer.

When we attempted to load the colts in the trailer, the barn hands, who had expressed anger and fear as to the reason we were leaving, let go of the colts before the doors to the trailer were adequately shut. I and the trainer did our best to keep the horses from jumping out of the trailer. But Leo, the bigger colt, reared up, knocking three times quickly and sharply into my shoulders and then succeeding in jumping out. I wondered for a moment if I had been grievously injured, but my mind was on retrieving the runaway colt, and affirming God’s presence and activity no matter what external circumstances seemed to be offering up. 

Eventually we succeeded in re-loading Leo onto the trailer, and both colts were safely on their way to their new home, where they are now happily growing and thriving.

And I found that instead of my back being grievously injured from the trailer episode, that quite the opposite had happened; I was healed of a spinal injury I’d sustained falling off a horse at age 10. Leo the colt had proven to be the best chiropractor on the planet. How God’s immeasurable good had worked through Leo, I do not know…all I know is that I’m profoundly grateful and continue to be awed by it. 

Hilary Wise

Over this past year, I’ve found myself recoiling more when I hear people refer to Mary Baker Eddy as “our leader.” This happens naturally in church; for example, when the First Reader introduces one of her hymns in a service and says, “the words of this hymn were written by our leader, Mary Baker Eddy.” To me, this sounds cultish—by definition, every cult has a “charismatic leader.” Now, I know Christian Science is not a cult, but it’s led me to wonder if we’re missing the mark on how to address Mary Baker Eddy appropriately today in a way that won’t turn us into subjects of the next Netflix exposé documentary.

I have asked myself: How would I explain to someone entirely unfamiliar with Christian Science Mary Baker Eddy’s role as “leader”?  Would I even want to for fear of misjudgment? Am I correctly valuing her place in Christian Science, and moreover, in my life?

Then comes our assignment: read “Christian Healer.” Initially, I really struggled to get through the first chapter. Admittedly, I skimmed and skipped around. My first excuse: I wasn’t a fan of the writing style. I thought, either give me hard-hitting, peer-reviewed, 10-footnotes-a-page academic text OR more sentimental, interpretive prose. This book’s style felt somewhere oddly in-between and wasn’t my cup of tea. My second excuse: why should I care about so many historical details? I want metaphysics! Give me something practical I can use in my own healing work. Isn’t it funny how animal magnetism tries to appear legitimate or logical?

Of course, I knew I was meant to be reading this book for a reason and so I kept picking it up. It was in reading “Advice for Healers,” that I began to have a change of heart. What struck me was the directness, clarity, and sharpness of Mary Baker Eddy’s instructions to students. It felt surprisingly contemporary. This was clear, powerful, applicable Science. In this way, I saw how her advice or instructions have been leading me and fellow students to be better metaphysicians. There was nothing the least bit cringey or cultish about this leadership.

But I felt compelled to read more about what others have said about Mary Baker Eddy’s role to provide additional context to “Christian Healer.”

One article was especially helpful titled, “Mary Baker Eddy: The Role of Leader” but Peter J. Henniker-Heaton from the January 1977 issue of the Christian Science Journal.

The article opens, in part, by acknowledging that the words “leader” and “leadership” have been somewhat tainted through historical events and social trends, but that this could be one more of animal magnetism’s attempt to drag down and bury the revelation and demonstration of Christian Science.

The article states, “It is up to Christian Scientists in their use of these terms [‘leader’ and ‘leadership’] to preserve for them their right and useful significance. For this we need to understand the history and nature of Mrs. Eddy's leadership.”

Reading this, I began to have a full-circle moment and appreciate in a new light the value in understanding Mary Baker Eddy’s life and work through historical accounts.

The article goes on to say, “The leadership of Mrs. Eddy … is the leadership of a movement and a church, but it is also a one-to-one leadership. It leads its followers not into subjection—personal, political, or social—but into the understanding of individual divine rights and into freedom from every kind of enslavement… True leadership bears no relationship to the tyrannous political systems of this century nor to anything that would lessen individual self-reliance. The end product of true leadership, as exemplified in Mrs. Eddy's leadership and in her following of the Christ, is universal spiritual self-government fulfilling the creative purpose of divine Truth and Love. Its discipline is the strictest yet most flexible of all disciplines, self-discipline; and it makes no one surrender a newly found and newly liberated identity.”

Wow. These ideas were impactful and felt revelatory. However, as I continued to cherish the message, I realized how easy it is to view Mary Baker Eddy as a spiritual leader with a profoundly spiritual mission when I’m simply viewing her as a child of God, an expression of Spirit. Seeing Mary Baker Eddy as wholly spiritual—without personality or personal agenda—was so normal and natural in Christian Science. I realized I was hung up on criticizing or skepticizing what I perceived as a brandishing of Mary Baker Eddy’s personal mission and human history that she herself was against and denied. This basic but important step in correcting my understanding of Mary Baker Eddy felt like a homecoming; a returning to a truth I’d always known.

In doing this work, I feel I have a gained a clearer view of Mary Baker Eddy and her legacy of leadership—its profound effect on each of our individual demonstrations of spiritual identity and the knowledge of God. Handling personal sense – either of Mary Baker Eddy’s or mine — has enabled my thought to be more receptive to importing the larger lessons in reading “Christian Healer.”